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Holiday Gift Giving
11/20/2008

With the holiday season fast approaching, I get many questions about gift giving. What's appropriate? What's not? Do I have to give gifts? What if I don't plan on giving and then I get one from a co-worker? The answer to these, and more questions, can be found below.

Giving to your Peers
Know the Culture: Some companies and many government agencies have specific regulations about what can be given and received. Checking with HR or an agency web site can be a beneficial first step. Regulations should give you cost limits and reporting requirements. However, they will not speak to tradition and custom. Maybe each department has its own white elephant party? Or prides itself on home-made food? Some causal conversations in the break room can be very beneficial. Talk with more than one person too, just to reduce the chance of misinformation.

Give to the Group: If you choose to give, and it is a choice, focus on your department and those you work with closely, including support staff. When you give to one person in your area, give to all. It's acceptable to give the same - or same style - gift. Make the delivery unique, be it written or personal. Stay in a consistent price range for all. When you want to give gifts to a select few, do it outside work. Be sure to include support staff, assistants, and interns. Give them the same level gift as your peers, and/or, boss.

An alternative is to give the entire group a single gift, like food. Buy some pizza for the afternoon break, bring bagels in the morning. If you can cook, share your expertise. This includes all, is equitable, and eliminates the need to gift wrap. 

Acceptable gifts should be somewhat generic, meaning not gender or religiously specific, nor too personal. Acceptable ideas include photo frames, gift cards, movie gift certificates, work-related objects (pens, business card holders, etc), coffee table books, etc. If you know someone's personal interests you can give accordingly; i.e. golf balls to golfers, pet store gift card to pet owner. Be sure to include a gift receipt and never re-gift.

Give as a Group:  Gift swaps, where those who choose to participate do so by drawing names, are a nice tradition in many organizations. A price limit is typically established, so try to be as close to that as you can.

Embrace the Season: Holiday's may have deep spiritual meaning to many; however this is not the time to pronounce the wonder of your faith. Keep it secular. "Happy Holidays" is fine. When you wish to speak to the deeper meaning of the season, say something like "May the spirit of the season fill you with happiness". Avoid naming specific holidays, prophets, or messiahs unless you are certain of the faith of the recipient, as well as that of all whom will hear, or see, the message.

Be Politically Aware: Avoid gifts of an overly-personal, sexual, or stereotypical nature.

Say Thank You: A handwritten thank-you note is best.


Giving to your Employees
Give to All: The guidelines given above still apply. Be sure to be consistent in gift given, or at the very least, in the price range give. Food trays for all are always welcome. Gift cards are a great idea too. Giving them a choice is usually well-received. Popular options could include: a grocery store, movie theatre multiplex, coffee shop, home improvement and book store.

Giving to your Boss
Know the Culture: As stated above, check policy and regulations. This is often forbidden. In that case, a hand-signed card will do.

Do it Discretely: No need to boast. This is between you and the boss. If you make a show if it, others may look at you suspiciously - as if you were seeking favor. No need to ruffle feathers. Do it in private.

Keep it Work Oriented: It is best to keep gifts work-oriented if given at work. A quality pen and pencil set, umbrella, leather-bound organizer, business card holder, a gourmet food basket, gourmet coffee and tea basket, and such are always acceptable. If you know his or her personal interests, you can give accordingly. However, steer clear from gift-cards. For the boss they can appear too impersonal.

Give as a Group: You can avoid many of these pitfalls by giving a gift to your boss as a group. This way no one can accuse you of favoritism and everyone is included. It may also please him or her to see you think, and act, as a team.

Don'ts
Don't Break the Bank: This is a chance to show your appreciation, not to display your success. Once you've established the acceptable price range, stick to it.

Don't Avoid the Bank: Meaning you shouldn't get the gifts at the dollar store. People can often tell, and once your 'secret' is discovered you may be seen as disingenuous.

Don't Give Unwrapped Gifts: Presentation matters. Gift bags and holiday card holders (for gift cards) represent the minimum effort. Gift wrapping, if done well, make every gift appear a bit more personal (even when they all match).

Don't Boast: Many, often more than half, of the workforce won't give gifts. Don't risk embarrassing others by boasting about your generosity, or by making your personal gift giving a public event.

Don't Give Alcohol: While some may appreciate a bottle of wine or fifth of single malt Scotch, they will appreciate something else too. The risks are plentiful. Others view the gift as too familiar or inappropriate. The recipient could do the same.  They may be social drinkers, so a gift for home will remain untouched. Worse of all, you my unknowingly trigger a relapse for a recovering alcoholic. Biz and Booze don't mix.

Don't Give Homemade/Handcrafted Items: The obvious exception is food, if you are a great baker or cook. Handcrafted items should be given to special friends, away from work, since they will most likely be displayed in the home.

Don't Give Turkey (or Ham): Not everyone eats meat, much less ham or turkey during the holidays. These also take up storage space in the refrigerator or freezer, during a season when storage is highly valued.

Don't Market: They know who they work for. Don't use marketing materials, emblazoned with your company name or logo, as gifts.

Don't Feel Obligated: If you get a gift, and choose not to participate, you need not give one in return. In fact, you shouldn't if you plan to give it to one person only. Remember to "give to the group".  However, do send, or hand-deliver, a hand-written thank-you note.

Don't Give Gag Gifts: Ever! The risk of misunderstanding is too great.

The bottom-line is to enjoy the season and participate at a level that makes you comfortable. This is not the time to win favor, it s the time to use a gift to show appreciation for those you work with and for, if you choose to do so. As to the rest of the year, focus on showing appreciation through your actions and words each and every day. Remember, Manners Matter and Courtesy Counts.

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