FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)

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• Are these programs just for business people?
• What is the most common professional etiquette error made in the work place today?
• Sometimes I see people who extend their little finger, or pinkie, while drinking from a teacup. Is this necessary? Where did this practice come from? Also, on which side does one’s name tag go? Should it be placed on the right or the left side?

Much to my chagrin, the titles Business Etiquette and Business Dining Etiquette are very misleading. I actually prefer the term Professional Behavior, since it presents a clearer picture.

The guidelines covered in these programs are applicable to any situation that may impact upon your ability to earn a salary, wage, fee, commission, or bonus, etc. This can occur in any field. Whether your focus is science, education, human services, politics, or business. You can work for a non-profit, a limited partnership, doing-business-as, or major corporation. It really doesn't matter. If it is not a purely social situation, it would be beneficial to know business etiquette, or professional behavior skills.

What a great question. Actually, two come to mind quickly.

The first is one I often observe. It is the failure to stand and greet people. When you are seated (in a lobby, at your desk, etc) and someone comes in and/or introduces themselves to you, you should stand and greet them - ideally with a handshake. George Washington, our 1st President. knew this. In his "Rules of Civility", which he wrote and adhered to throughout his professional life, he states "sit not when others stand". This guideline holds true today as well. It sends a strong message that the person you are greeting is significant to you and that you are fully engaged with them.

The second is the top concern I get from my corporate clients. It is the misuse, or overuse, of text messaging and cell phones. The basic guideline is that if you are with people (one-on-one, in a meeting, etc) they should be your singular focus. Text messaging and/or checking cell phone messages may suggest that the people you are with are of secondary importance. That's not a message you want to send. The people you are with get your full attention. Text, make phone calls, and check messages on your time - not theirs. 

These are great questions. Thank you for asking them.

Those who attend my etiquette presentations know that I do more than simply outline what should be done in a specific situation. I also explain how and why a custom came into practice. Audience evaluations and personal feedback confirm that the audience wants to know this. They say this enhances their retention, making it easier for them to embrace the principles of appropriate behavior.

Most of the time, it confirms the logic of a behavior, as demonstrated by name tag placement. However sometimes it confirms that the action is unnecessary, and may actually be counterproductive. Remember, the singular goal of professional etiquette is to let “you shine through”. You try to avoid behavior that will distract attention from all that is wonderful, unique, and special about you. The extended pinkie may be such an action. Let’s take a closer look at both of these questions. 



Name Tag
Networking etiquette tells us a nametag should be placed on the right-hand side of your jacket or blouse. Most people place it on our left-hand side simply because they are right-handed. They use the right-hand to place it, which naturally leads to a left-side location. Try it, you’ll see. 

Still, the guideline says it should be placed on the right-hand side. Why? Because it is most convenient for those we meet. We place it on our right-hand side because we shake hands with our right-hand. When shaking we use our eyes to look for the other person’s hand. Once we clasp palms our eyes move up, from the hand, to the elbow, then to the person’s name tag, and finally to their eyes. It’s an easy route that provides you with the person’s name when you make eye-contact. No hunting or shifting to the left required.

Remember, those we meet are whom the name tag is for. So we place it there as a courtesy to them, not as a convenience to us.


Extended Pinkie
This is a custom that does not need to be practiced anymore. It was always more of a social etiquette custom anyway and really has no use in a professional situation. Nonetheless, we still see it practiced, and so we wonder why.

I became aware of the extended pinkie at a young age. Probably from my grandmother, while she sipped tea with her bridge club. Even then I thought it a bit pretentious as I failed to understand any practical reason for it.

When I researched the origin of this behavior this belief was confirmed. My conclusion is that the intent of this practice is to communicate one’s superior status over another.

My research suggests this behavior started in the courts of France’s King Louis XIV. It was under his rule that the term ‘etiquette’ was first used, although written rules of behavior pre-dated him at least to the age of chivalry. He insisted that the people around him behaved appropriately. If they did not, they would not receive his ‘favor’, or support.

One of his guidelines dictated how one was to ‘knock’ on his door, to announce their arrival for a meeting. Louis found the rapping of knuckles to be a bit boorish, as well as disruptive to his peace of mind, so he came up with an alternative.

One seeking entrance to his chamber was told to lightly scratch the door with a single fingernail. Specifically, you were to scratch with the fingernail of your right little finger, or pinkie. That’s right; you would stand outside the door, scratching lightly with your fingernail, until King Louis XIV invited you in. 

As you might imagine, it was hard to do this well. Fingernail scratching doesn’t really echo through the King’s chamber. So, those who met with the King on a regular basis learned to grow out this fingernail, sometimes until it was a couple of inches long. This improved the likelihood of being heard.

I imagine that individuals with such a nail quickly recognized an opportunity to flaunt their status. They searched for a way to demonstrate the close relationship they had with King Louis and soon found one. An extended pinkie directed attention to their long fingernail, which suggested a close relationship with the King. It was done to indicate status.

Now, to be accurate there are those who say it may have been done to balance the cup while sipping tea. Others say it was necessary because of the small, delicate handles found on many china tea cups. Since there was no room for all four fingers, one had to be extended. Finally, some suggest it was done to keep the pinkie finger away from the heat of the tea cup.

To all of those I say “balderdash”, which is an etiquette term that roughly translates to “I don’t think so”. There are common sense alternatives to these issues. First of all, if the tea is so hot that you risk burning your fingers, you shouldn’t be sipping it. You should be conversing with those around you while letting the tea cool down. Also, if you struggle to balance a tea cup, or find that your hands are just too big to hold it comfortably, then it might be wiser to ask for a mug.

Clearly then the intent of this action, extending one’s pinkie finger while sipping tea (or any beverage for that matter), is to subtly demonstrate one’s superior status. Let your actions and words confirm the quality of your character, not your pinkie.



Conclusion
Remember, the goal is to demonstrate all that is wonderful, unique and special about you. Placing your nametag so that those who read it can do so effortlessly may accomplish this task. Blithely boasting about your sense of self-importance (albeit non-verbally) may not.

Thanks again for asking. Remember, Manners do matter and courtesy does count.